_________________________________________
/ The lovely woman-child Kaa was          \
| mercilessly chained to the cruel post   |
| of the warrior-chief Beast, with his    |
| barbarian tribe now stacking wood at    |
| her nubile feet, when the strong clear  |
| voice of the poetic and heroic          |
| Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic,      |
| crisp that chick, and you'll feel my    |
| steel through your last meal!'          |
|                                         |
| -- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton |
\ bad fiction contest.                    /
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  ___       _____     ___
 /   \     /    /|   /   \
|     |   /    / |  |     |
|     |  /____/  |  |     |     
|     |  |    |  |  |     |
|     |  | {} | /   |     |
|     |  |____|/    |     |
|     |    |==|     |     |
|      \___________/      |
|                         |
|                         |